BANG BANG! Stick THIS!

Okay so maybe it was the lure of a day in the sun. Or maybe it was just the raw adventure of it, or maybe, it was even me feeling a bit smug. But later that week I found myself in the truck making pleasant conversation, actually I was avoiding. After a couple of hours and the female voice of a GPS system barking orders at my friend. (Why do men listen to the GPS but won't ask us for directions? I sometimes wonder what would have happened if Moses had just stopped wandering long enough to ask his wife? Maybe it would not have taken 40 years? Men would rather be late then just ask. Anyway, the GPS barked, in 450 meters, turn left, in 1326 meters turn left then turn right. "I knew that," My friend would say as he followed her commands. Eventually, it was announced with a smile of satisfaction that we had arrived. I looked around- "Where?" All I saw was a very high gate and then a very low field. We parked around a corner. Quietly he disembarked from the truck and I quietly followed. "I didn't think I should make any sudden noise. Then he turned left, absent the GPS. So I turned left, on we went through an opening in a large stone wall, across a low field, through a gate, followed a dirty path (My shoes were covered in dust) Maybe this was an attempt at ambiance. Onward we walked over some gravel, (I felt like any minute I would fall down a rabbit hole)then through another gated enclosure. BANG!! BANG BANG BANG! "Oh." my friend said- you might want to put these in your ears." "Great, " I thought- Lime Green ear plugs- that really looks just perfect with my carefully planned perfectly co-ordinated to look very casual outfit. "Thank you." I feigned a smile. I stood there holding the squishy oblong bits. BANG BANG BANG!!!! He began frantically pointing to the sides of his face- "WHAT?" Is he trying to tell me I need a shave? Because I wanted to assure him I don't have any facial hair. No I absolutely do NOT belong to the Female Pluckers of Wayward Hairs On Chins Society. "Stick them in!" He yelled. "You stick them in! " I yelled back.And I was sure I did not mean ears!